Stop bullying-Bullying Hurts

Bullies hurt-stop bullying to stop bullying and keep our kids safe we need to recognize the signs that something is wrong, most of the time bullies threaten their victims that is scary for kids, therefore kids tend to be afraid of what will happen if they tell someone so they keep quiet holding it all inside, they tend to stay in their room, don’t want to go to school, they tend to stay away from their friends. these are just a few of the signs. Every 7 to 8 minutes kids are being bullied without anyone knowing.

Statistics show 3.3 million kids become victims of bullying every year

every year 3.3 million kids become victims of bullying it is sad. some kids live to talk about it, the really sad part is many commit suicide they can’t withstand the pain it causes them and are too afraid of what might happen to them should they tell. another sad thing is that there are adults that know what’s going on and do nothing about it or they laugh it is no laughing matter this is as serious as someone having a heart attack.

I know from experience what it feels like to be hit, pushed in the mud, tripped, called names, to be talked about, put down, and not being included in anything on purpose.

Bullying is rude, hurtful, bullying is not a game, and by no means is it funny.

Bullying children can be detrimental and have long-lasting effects on them, it may be physical or it may be mental, either way, it hurts especially if the crowd around the bully is cheering him/ her on and no one there is trying to help them, this could be damaging

The national crime prevention reports that 80% of young people see bullying as funny, while others think it’s not a big deal. Although some may think it’s not a big deal it is, it is a very serious matter many kids either turn to drugs( substance abuse) or commit suicide. Don’t let someone you know become a statistic, if you suspect something is a wrong step in quickly, timing is critical you could save someone’s life, tell someone the sooner that this is dealt with the better for everyone concerned.

What is bullying

      •  aggressive behavior among school-age children.
      • It’s a power imbalance.
      •  when kids are controlling and want to take charge of others.
      •  hurtful behavior happening over and over, some of these actions include attacking verbally and/or physically, spreading rumors, threats, shoving, hitting, yelling, pulling hair, knocking books from hands, etc.
      • Aggressive behavior from older/bigger children to smaller ones.
      • When a person controls another person against their will for their benefit and/or satisfaction
      • It is a one-sided relationship where the victim is used or exploited, this can happen anywhere including but not limited to friendship, boyfriend/girlfriend
      • It’s When a person gets satisfaction from hurting someone.
      • when someone can care less about other people or their feelings.

Who is a bully

      • A bully is one who needs to feel in control and feels powerful over another person.
      • One who makes another miserable and isolated works if people go along with it.
      • People who stand around laughing, teachers other adults who do nothing to stop it.


1. The one that is connected to friends, he/she has social power and wants to dominate his/her friends, he /she wants to be in charge of a friend, wants to be the leader while making the friend feel overpowered.

2. More isolated from friends, could be anxious or depressed.

      • He has low self-esteem.
      • Not very involved in the school.
      • It is easily persuaded by friends, does not care about others’ feelings or emotions.
      • Bullies get excited when they pick on someone else, they get an enormous rush when they hurt someone and see them cry.
      • They feel a rush when they have control over someone else. They are motivated by the pleasure they feel by being in control.

Who are the victims

      • the typical victim plays alone or has a very small amount friends around if any.
      • It is easy to control.
      • He has no social skills.
      • Acts and looks afraid.
      • Irritates and pesters others.
Who’s at risk
      • children who seem to be different from their friends; too fat, too skinny, wears glasses, shoes are not in style, or not up to date in fashion, their hair is too curly, their speech sounds funny, smaller than the rest. Just about anyone who seems vulnerable.
      • Someone weak or unable to fight back to defend themselves.
      • Not popular like others, has little or no friends. Has a hard time getting along with others.
      • They are seen as provoking, agonizing and annoying others for attention.

However, if someone has these factors of risk, it does not mean that they are being bullied. Being at risk doesn’t mean they are having problems. Although it is very important to look for warning signs.

Do both girls and boys bully?

      • girls as well as boys bully. Except with girls, it is harder to spot, bullies usually have friends that join in on the bullying when the bully is picking at others. Boys will get together and threaten to beat them up, physically harm them.
      • While girls, on the other hand, get together and gossip, whisper spread rumors, and alienate the victim. The abuse the girls do to others is less physical it is more emotional but it hurts the same if not more. If one of the bully s friend is told by the bully to fight the victim, more times than not the girl will fight the girl being victimized, because they don’t want the bully to look down on them or they don’t want to be treated like the victim is getting treated. They avoid making the bully mad at them.

Some characteristics of a possible bully

      • get easily frustrated or aggressive.
      •  has issues at home and parents are less involved.
      • thinks bad about others.
      • Has a hard time following rules.
      • sees violence positively.
      • Has friends that are bullies that bully others.
      •  It does not necessarily need to be stronger, older, or bigger than those being bullied.

The consequences of bullying;

      • causes negative effects on mental health issues.
      • can lead victims to drug and alcohol abuse.
      • suicide
      • threatens physical and emotional health safety.
      • It hurts victims’ learning ability.
      • If continued it can lead the victim to experience isolation. feeling depressed and like no one cares.
      • Schools should focus on safety for all, psychologically, physically, and socially.
      • When parents respond fast and consistently to bullying behavior it speaks loudly and clearly, it gives the message that bullying is not acceptable behavior and will not be tolerated find out what happened when it happened and where it happened and why it is happening
      • Work with all parties; the bully, the victim, and any witnesses to the bullying, this lessens the bullying.
      • let the bully know that there are other ways to handle their anger instead of hurting innocent
      • the best way to handle bullying is to stop it before it starts.
      •  tell a responsible adult such as a teacher a coach.
      •  by understanding what is causing this behavior, it will help develop pro-social skills and social skills.
      •  Find the source of frustration of the bully.
      •  you will need to focus on school culture as well as subgroups instead of individuals when bullying is done by a group or groups including resisting pressure from friends.
      • be an example of a model of treating others’ respect and kindness.
      • encourage the bully to engage in something he may enjoy doing daily, any sports they may like or running track or even to write a book, join a woodworking group a boy scout group even reading books to earn points just anything positive or finding themselves a little job that can make them feel good earning their own money to spend
what to do if you feel like your child/your student may be getting bullied
      • ask these kinds of questions (some examples are)
      • have you been hurt by your friend or someone else?
      • does your friend care about your feelings and is willing to work out any problems?
      • does your friend be mean to you when by yourself?
      • has your friend treated you badly either psychologically or physically?
      • has your friend or anyone told lies or spread rumors about you? Do you feel threatened or has someone threatened you or taken something from you?

some ways to prevent bullying

      • Do not be afraid to seek help
      • the best way to prevent bullying is by telling someone who will help you
      • if you show signs of being afraid they will keep pushing you to a breaking point, do not let the bullying get out of hand, tell an adult that you can trust, tell your parents, your grandparents, aunts, uncles, even cousins that you trust enough to help you.
      • talk about strategies for staying safe such as staying near adults and groups of children.
      • encourage kids to get involved in the things they love to do such as but not limited to sport, reading, hobbies, chorus, running track or any interest they may have, this can boost their confidence, a way to make friends who can protect them from bullying behavior.
      • keep lines of communication open, check on kids often, get to know their friends, ask them about the school, and understand their concerns.

This could be a new beginning for the victim as well as for the bully.

Let’s make a brighter day for everyone concerned

if we all join forces and stop bullying we can make every day brighter

don’t let yourself or anyone else become a victim of bullying if you see someone being bullied remember they are hurting,  they are suffering tell someone.  you be the COURAGEOUS one and take them away from that situation. It only takes a second for things to get really bad. When we are bullied it is very scary especially if you are a small child and are afraid to tell cause the bully said they will beat you up. get involved let’s do something to help stop bullying.

If this has helped anyone or you need someone to talk to leave me a comment and I will get back to you as soon as possible.


By Miriam

my name is Miriam Mendoza, I live in Bakersfield California I was born in Ogden Utah, February 1958 I am married to Felipe Mendoza


  1. Bullying really, really hurts. Bullying isn’t just a fun game; it’s mind damager. 

    I was once a victim of bullying when I was in high  school, so I know how tough it can get for the victim. The taunting, the pushing, the letting down and assaults bring about inferiority complex among the victims. It makes them feel they’re useless and unimportant. Bullying is one thing I can vouch to fight for because I was once a victim. And it almost defined me.

    I think reporting to someone who really understands the bully concept will help victims overcome the challenge. Bolstering their self confidence in every imaginable way possible is definitely one of the best antidote.

  2. Bullying hurts, growing up in the suburb bulling was one of those things that I had to cope with. It killed my interaction level and now grown up, I still find it difficult to interact freely. Bullying is a killer and I will not allow any child around me to suffer from this knowing what I went through as a young child

  3. Hello there! Thank you very much for taking the time to write about this crucial topic, all kids are different and are likely to exhibit varying behaviors during or after bullying by a peer with relational aggression on the rise and cyberbullying easier than ever. 

    The most disturbing part of it is that it takes the victim a very long time before he/she seeks for help.

    1. That is why we need to be aware and communicate with children to make sure they know that someone will help them. 

  4. This makes me so sad. 🙁 I have a friend whose son is dealing with bullying in 5th grade. He is overweight and gets teased and bullied about it. 

    His dad is nervous about sending him to middle school where it will probably just get worse. So sad. I wish I could help in some way! 

  5. Bullying is everywhere. I hate to say that it doesn’t only exist in school but it does happen in the workplace as well in another form. I think in school it is more pure because children are still children after all. Thank you for sharing such an informative post on bullying, now I know what to look for in their characteristic behavior. I do not think that anyone can do anything to me because I am a fighter, but It is good to be prepared if my loved ones are being bullied. I will share your post to all my friends. 

  6. Hello there,I would just give a few facts about bullying. As we all know bullying is physical or verbal aggression that is repeated over a period and, in contrast to meanness, involves an imbalance of power.I was onced bullyed, and this are the risk or effect of bullying *Depression, Anxiety while for adults it could cause the victim into being Gay, lesbian etc…but lastly as you said the best way to crub this situation is to speak out as it’s one of the fastest route.

    1. I want to thank you for adding to the list of possible effects bullying can have on adults. It is happening everywhere at work, at school, at home, and many other places. Being aware is the beginning to the end. The people that bully have serious issues with themselves. Best wishes,

      please share awareness we may be saving someone’s life.

  7. Bullying has become a huge problem for the society today. Bullies can be found everything and they thrive more when their preys are perceived vulnerable. Thanks for enlightening us on how to spot a bully and how to identify a victim of bullying in an organization especially among children. This will better equip one to watch out for such characters and nip them in the bud when seen. Kudos 

    1. Thank you for your comment.  I want to raise awareness and let the children know that they don’t have to be afraid to tell someone.  But yo make sure it is someone trusted  because some people find it funny and laugh at this behavior. It would be great if you could share this to help build awareness. 

      Thank you, best wishes


  8. We had trouble with bullying when our youngest was in school. In our case it was not taken care of by the school. They said that there was nothing that they could do. Another boy was threatening our son that he was going to kill him. The bad part was that the boys mother was a local police officer and took her son to school every day in her patrol car. 

    This went on for a few months, of course our son was scared because the boy told him he could get his mom’s gun anytime he wanted it. We ended up at the sheriff’s office to press charges and the mother denied it all. Finally we came up with enough evidence that the mother confessed that she knew about it. She actually boasted about taking her son to school and showing off her gun. She lost her job and the boy’s step-father came to us and said it would never happen again and that he didn’t know it was going on and apologized. 

    It took up almost a whole year of school though and the school wouldn’t lift a finger to help us because it was a police officer’s son. 

    1. I am so sorry that this happened and that it took so long to get taken care of. Was this recently? I understand now they are boosting up security at schools and having security on the premises and also having metal detectors installed, because of all the school shootings. Research shows that most school shooting occur by kids that are being bullied, they can’t take what’s happening to them, and are to afraid to seek help or who to turn to for help because the bully has theatened them and that is very scary for a child, not know what they should do they turn to drugs and/or alcohol they,  then get frustrated and they decide they no longer want to feel the pain and decide to take their own life but not with out the person or persons involved in hurting them. And it is so sad that this happens so many innocent people become victims of others that want to be in control. Awareness is so important in stopping the bullies and it is  very difficult if a parent knows and does nothing about it.  I hope it never happens again and that your child has spoken to a counselor to help with the trauma this may have caused him this rude ugly behavior has a long lasting effect that can be harmful for them in many ways. Best way to deal with the bullies is to stay away from them ,stay close to adults and definitely tell someone.  I appreciate you taking your time to share with us here. I am here to answer your questions. If you have any.

  9. Hello,

    The subject of bullying is one that hits home for most everyone.  I had a brother who was a bully and loved to beat me up and make fun of me. My parents tried to intervene but he was and is the type of person who doesn’t listen and doesn’t care and I understand that’s due to something that was lacking in his growing up. He only acted out when it was advantageous for him to get his jollies by being mean. His other side was charming and Jekyll & Hyde. Awareness is so vitally important and I thank you for providing your blogs and a place to vent and share stories. 


    1. I thank you for your comment and it gives me more gratification to add more on awareness to me posts. Bullying is very hurtful and very dangerous there are so many kids that can’t handle that pressure. The are so afraid to tell someone raise they have been threatened. Many things could happen, like they go after the bully, with a weapon such as a gun a knife or what the can get. Another is the could turn to substance abuse or alcohol. It can even cause someone to commit suicide.

  10. My childhood was full of bullying, I was a victim to those insecure classmates they pushed me around. The good thing is, I just did my best in my study, and now I prevailed.

    I love your advocacy of making a bright future for everyone concerned, may it be the bully or the bullied. The school is the training ground for kids, their behavior in school is a mirror of what they can become when they grow up. I know of some friends who, when we were in school, they were bullies. Now that all of us have grown up as professionals, they didn’t change they are still bullies in their behavior, particularly in social media. 

    I think, helping our schools get rid of bullying can also prepare a good society in the future for the next generation.

    1. Thank you Gomer, for sharing that part of you with us, bullying is really not an easy thing to handle, and this is why some wayssomeways on how to stop bullying at school. It can’t be done by one person alone it’s going take parent, teachers, coaches and the community. We need to let everyone know that bullying is not aloud and will not be tolerated. There are consequences for this bullying behavior.  One thing my grandfather made sure I lived by that he always told me, you have probably heard it said “treat people the way you want them to treat you.”

  11. Great and touching article. Bullying is a very big problem is schools right now. and this has led many other students turn bad. I was literally a victim on this problem and it felt very painful when someone usually bullied me at school back then. Thanks on such great and profitable article. 

    1. It is a very big problem and very real. So I have decided to bring much needed awareness and what signs to look for it bullying is suspected.

      thank you for sharing with us. Best wishes, Miriam

  12. hello, it is a great and nice feeling to know that someone will create a great website like this and also create a write up on an article like this. the experience i got from being bullied makes this article personal to me. i believe more awareness should be created in schools especially to stop this.

    1. I really appreciate your comment. I was also bullied as a child in and at home. It so true that more awareness should be spread. When I hear stories of people being bullied as children that totally breaks my heart especially if it’s the parents doing the bullying. Who are they supposed to tell if parents are doing it too. I left home at 11 years old to get away from pain and hurt I was caused. I total understand. They are so defenseless.and the people that are bully at their job need to grow up and act like adults, if this is what children see this is what children do.

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