stop bullying-bullying hurts, In order keep to our kids safe, recognize the warning signs that something is wrong. Communicate often with kids.
When kids are victimized, it is scary for them. the victim may be in constant fear of when and where the bully will attack them again. When the victim is threatened and told “if you tell someone, next time it will be worse” that automatically fills them with fear. Therefore the victim starts closing up he/ she loses desire to go to school, grades start to fail, fakes being I’ll, loses their appetite, stays in their room, loses contact with friends, starts coming home with unexplainable bruising, ripped clothing, or broken property, torn books. These are absolutely warning signs that should not be ignored. Every 7 to 8 minutes kids are being bullied, and most of the time no one knows what is happening. This is why it is so important to know the warning signs.
Statistics show 3.3 million kids become victims of bullying every year
every year 3.3 million kids become victims of bullying it is really sad. some kids live to talk about it, the really sad part is many commit suicide they can’t withstand the pain it causes them and are to afraid of what might happen to them should they tell. another sad thing is that there are adults that know what’s going on and do nothing about it or they laugh about it, this really is no laughing matter, this is as serious as someone having a heart attack.
I know from experience what it feels like to be hit, pushed in the mud, tripped, called names, to be talked about, put down and not being included in anything on purpose.
Bullying is rude, hurtful, bullying is not a game, and by no means is it funny.
Victimizing children can be detrimental and have long-lasting effects on them, it may be physical or it may be mental, either way, it hurts especially if the crowd around the bully is cheering him/ her on and no one there is trying to help them, this could be really damaging
The national crime prevention reports that 80% of young people see bullying as funny, while others think it’s not a big deal. Although some may think it’s not a big deal it really is, it is a very serious matter many kids either turn to drugs (substance abuse) or commit suicide. Don’t let someone you know become a statistic, if you suspect something is a wrong step in quickly, timing is critical you could save someone’s life, tell someone the sooner that this is dealt with the better for everyone concerned.
What is bullying
- aggressive behavior among school-age children.
- It’s a power imbalance.
- when kids are controlling and want to take charge of others.
- hurtful behavior happening over and over, some of these actions include attacking verbally and/or physically, spreading rumors, threats, shoving, hitting, yelling, pulling hair, knocking books from hands, etc.
- Aggressive behavior from older/bigger children to smaller ones.
- When a person controls another person against their will for their benefit and/or satisfaction
- It is a one-sided relationship where the victim is used or exploited, this can happen anywhere including but not limited to friendship, boyfriend/girlfriend,
- It’s When a person gets satisfaction from hurting someone.
- when someone can care less about other people or their feelings.
Who is a bully
- A bully is one who needs to feel in control and feels powerful over another person.
- One who makes another miserable and isolated it works if people go along with it.
- People who stand around laughing, teachers other adults who do nothing to stop it.
TWO TYPES OF BULLYING
1. The one that is connected to friends, he/she has social power and wants to dominate his/her friends, he /she wants to be in charge of a friend, wants to be the leader while making the friend feel overpowered.
2. More isolated from friends, could be anxious or depressed.
- He has low self-esteem.
- Not very involved in the school.
- It is easily persuaded by friends, does not care about others’ feelings or emotions.
- Bullies get excited when they pick on someone else, they get an enormous rush when they hurt someone and see them cry.
- They feel a rush when they have control over someone else. They are actually motivated by the pleasure they feel by being in control.
Who are the victims
- the typical victim plays alone or has a very small amount friends around if any.
- It is easy to control.
- He has no social skills.
- Acts and looks afraid.
- Irritates and pesters others.
Who’s at risk
- children who seem to be different from their friends; too fat, too skinny, wears glasses, shoes are not in style, or not up to date in fashion, their hair is too curly, their speech sounds funny, smaller than the rest. Just about anyone who seems vulnerable.
- Someone weak or unable to fight back to defend themselves.
- Not popular like others, has little or no friends. Has a hard time getting along with others.
- They are seen as provoking, agonizing and annoying others for attention.
However, if someone has these factors of risk, it does not mean that they are actually being bullied. Being at risk doesn’t mean they are having problems. Although it is very important to look for warning signs.
Do both girls and boys bully?
- girls as well as boys bully. Except with girls, it is harder to spot, bullies usually have friends that join in on the bullying when the bully is picking at others. Boys will get together and threaten to beat them up, physically harm them.
- While girls, on the other hand, get together and gossip, whisper spread rumors and alienate the victim. The abuse the girls do to others is less physical it is more emotional but it hurts the same if not more. If one of the bully s friend is told by the bully to fight the victim, more times than not the girl will fight the girl being victimized, because they don’t want the bully to look down on them or they don’t want to be treated like the victim is getting treated. They avoid making the bully mad at them.
Some characteristics of a possible bully
- get easily frustrated or aggressive.
- has issues at home and parents are less involved.
- thinks bad about others.
- Has a hard time following rules.
- sees violence in a positive way.
- Has friends that are bullies that bully others.
- It does not necessarily need to be stronger, older or bigger than those being bullied.
The consequences of bullying;
- causes negative effects on mental health issues.
- can lead victims to drug and alcohol abuse.
- threatens physical and emotional health safety.
- It has a negative impact on victims learning ability.
- If continued it can lead the victim to experience isolation. feeling depressed and like no one cares.
- Schools should focus on safety for all, psychological, physically and socially.
- When parents respond fast and consistently to bullying behavior it speaks loudly and clearly, it gives the message that bullying is not acceptable behavior and will not be tolerated find out what happened when it happened and where it happened and why it is happening
- Work with all parties; the bully, the victim and any and all witnesses to the bullying, this lessens the bullying.
- let the bully know that there are other ways to handle their anger instead of hurting innocent
- the best way to handle bullying is to stop it before it starts.
- tell a responsible adult such as a teacher a coach.
- by understanding what is causing this behavior, it will help develop pro-social skills and social skills.
- Find the source of frustration of the bully.
- you will need to focus on school culture as well as subgroups instead of individuals when bullying is done by a group or groups including resisting pressure from friends.
- be an example of a model of treating others’ respect and kindness.
- encourage the bully to engage in something he may enjoy doing on a daily basis, any sports they may like or running track or even to write a book, join a woodworking group a boy scout group even reading books to earn points just anything positive or finding themselves a little job that can make them feel good earning their own money to spend
what to do if you feel like your child/your student may be getting bullied
- ask these kinds of questions (some examples are)
- have you been hurt by your friend or someone else?
- does your friend care about your feelings and is willing to work out any problems?
- does your friend be mean to you when by yourself?
- has your friend treated you badly either psychologically or physically?
- has your friend or anyone told lies or spread rumors about you? Do you feel threatened or has someone threatened you or taken something from you?
some ways to prevent bullying
- Do not be afraid to seek help
- the best way to prevent bullying is by telling someone who will help you
- if you show signs of being afraid they will keep pushing you to a breaking point, do not let the bullying get out of hand, tell an adult that you can trust, tell your parents, your grandparents, aunts, uncles, even cousins that you trust enough to help you.
- talk about strategies for staying safe such as staying near adults and groups of children.
- encourage kids to get involved in the things they love to do such as but not limited to sport, reading, hobbies, chorus, running track or any interest they may have, this can boost their confidence, a way to make friends who can protect them from bullying behavior.
- keep lines of communication open, check on kids often, get to know their friends, ask them about school and understand their concerns.
This could be a new beginning for the victim as well as for the bully.
Let’s make a brighter day for everyone concerned
if we all join forces and stop bullying we can make every day brighter
don’t let yourself or anyone else become a victim of bullying if you see someone being bullied remember they are hurting, they are suffering tell someone. you be the COURAGEOUS one and take them away from that situation. It only takes a second for things to get really bad. When we are bullied it is very scary especially if you are a small child and are afraid to tell cause the bully said they will beat you up. get involved let’s do something to help stop bullying.
If this has helped anyone or you need someone to talk to leave me a comment and I will get back to you as soon as possible.