How to stop bullying at school/stop bullying

How to stop bullying  at school,

How to stop bullying at school,  parents, teachers, and the community as a whole all have a major role when it comes to stopping the bullying at school, it will not go away by itself and it may never go away. But as grown ups we need to be aware of our children’s safety.

Treat children with respect and listen to them

Kids deserve to be treated with respect and listened to.  Many of us have been so busy at one time or another to sit down and listen to our children, they may be telling us something very important, we run around trying to get dinner done or whatever it may be, and they are talking their little hearts out and we just answer and say OK, yes, I will take care of it, and a couple of days go by and the child comes and ask did you take care of that. With this look on our face, we ask them, take care of what? they start to explain and we have the slightest idea of what they are talking about and we just say you never told me anything about that, they start to cry because what they said was important to them. Sometimes Things get hectic and we can’t find the time to sit and listen for a few minute







Make time to engage with children

To help prevent bullying, parents need to make time to engage with our kids. We need to help kids understand bullying, talk about what bullying is and how to stand up to it safely, let the kids know that bullying is unacceptable behavior and will not be tolerated. Make sure they know how and where to get help

Keep the lines of communication open for them at all times. Check-in with the kids often. Listen and understand their concerns. Know who their friends are, meet them interact with them get to know them on a personal level. Ask the kids about school what they like about school and what they don’t like about it.

  1. Encourage kids to do what they love such as hobbies special activities, things that interest them this can boost their confidence, can help them make friends and can keep them away from bullying behavior

Teach kids what bullying is

kids learn from adults actions by treating others with kindness and respect, adults show kids that in their lives there is no place for bullying, though it seems like they are not paying attention they are, kids are watching how adults manage stress and conflict, as well as how they treat their friends and family,

kids that are taught what bullying is, are better at identifying it quickly, they will talk about bullying if it happens to them or others. Encourage kids to speak to adults that they trust if they are bullied or see that others are getting bullied, these adults can give you or others comfort, advice, and support although they may not be able to solve the problem directly at the moment. I can’t stress enough to please encourage kids to tell if it is happening to them or if they see it happening to anyone, because the person that is getting bullied may be too afraid to tell what is happening to them, we don’t even know if it just recently started or if they were going through it for a little time or a lot of time.

Help kids that are being bullied

How to stand up to kids that bully, give tips like using humor, saying “stop” directly and confidently. Talk about what to do if those actions don’t happen to work, like walking away.

Strategies for staying safe such as staying near adults or groups of kids that don’t mingle with the bully.

Urge them to help the kids that are being bullied by showing kindness and/or getting them help.

Keep lines of communication open

keeping lines of communication open is very important in preventing bullying

Research shows us that kids do seek out parents and caregivers for help and advice on tough decisions’ spending 15 to 20 minutes a day talking can easily reassure kids that they can talk to the parents if they have a problem or if they just feel that they need to tell about what they saw and don’t know how to tell someone because they got threatened.

Start conversations with them about daily life and their feelings with questions like these;

  • what was one good thing that happened today? Did any bad things happen?
  • what is lunchtime like at your school? who do you sit with? what do you talk about?
  • what is it like to ride the school bus?
  • what are you good at?
  • what do you like best about yourself?

“Talking about bullying directly is an important step in understanding how the issue of bullying may be affecting kids. The following questions have no right or wrong answers, but we must let them know the importance of answering them as honestly as they can. and we need to let them know that they are not alone when addressing any problems that may come up and that the answers may be a great help with preventing bullying at school, at the bus stop even on the bus ride to and from school.”

  1. start a conversation about preventing bullying using questions like these,
  • what does bullying mean to you? describe what kids who bully are like?
  • why do you think people bully?
  • who are the adults you trust most when it comes to things like bullying?
  • have you ever felt scared to go to school, because you were afraid of being bullied?
  • what ways have you tried to change it?
  • what do you think parents should do to prevent and/or stop bullying?
  • do you ever see kids at your school being bullied by other kids? how does that make you feel?
  • have you ever tried to help someone who was being bullied?
  • what happened? what would you do if it happened again?
  • have you seen bullying at the bus stop or on the bus? did anyone try to stop it?

here are some simple ways parents and caregivers can keep up to date with kids’ lives

  • Read class newsletters and school fliers.
  • Go to school events.
  • Greet the bus driver.
  • Meet teachers and counselors at back to school night or reach out by email.
  • Share your phone number with other kids’ parents.

Our role in stopping bullying at school

as caring adults, we need to learn our role in, helping stop bullying at school. How to take a public approach to bully. We need to educate ourselves on how to spot early warning signs when kids are afraid to reach out for help, many kids are too afraid to tell someone. Studies show that the longer it takes to detect, that much more damage it is causing in a child’s life, they will start looking for ways to stop the pain they are feeling, such as but not limited to taking pills and/or drinking alcoholic beverages just anything that helps them not to feel the hurt, the shame or the blame. If this doesn’t help they tend to seek stronger methods of drugs and that works only for a little while, then low and behold they decide the only way out is to take their life leaving parents asking themselves;

  • where did we go wrong?
  • what was going on with them?
  • How did this get to this point?
  • what could we have done to stop this from happening?
  • Why didn’t we see what was going on?
  • who caused this?

All of these questions who? what? where? when? and why? All the questions in the world are not going to change what happened. To parents, caregivers, school staff, and other caring adults, this can be very devastating don’t let this happen to any more children. Let’s get educated about bullying, who is at risk? what signs to look for? How we can help? What can be done if our child is being bullied?

There are so many reasons why kids bully.

These are some reason kids bully;

  • they seek attention, need to be in control.
  • Have friends that bully, one or both parents are bullies.
  • Get bullied by siblings or someone else, enjoy hurting others.
  • Anxiety
  • Although there is no excuse good or bad to bully, bullies tend to seek approval from kids around when kids laugh at what they do to others it makes their adrenaline level go up very fast. 

Most of all the bullies need to know that bullying is not allowed not today not ever it will not be tolerated and there are repercussions for there actions, which over time can be harming them.

Let them know that there are programs they can get involved in to wear off some of this overwhelming energy they may have. Explain to the bully the damage he/she may be causing and ask him/her to stop hurting others. If they keep being bullies the outcome may not be good for them or the victims or either family. One family may be burying their child, while the other family may have to visit in jail.

Talk to them also and find out what it is they are trying to accomplish by hurting others that do nothing at all to hurt them or bother them. It is not OK behavior and it is not allowed in school on the bus or in the community.

Suicide, absolutely no way to undo it.

By Miriam

my name is Miriam Mendoza, I live in Bakersfield California I was born in Ogden Utah, February 1958 I am married to Felipe Mendoza


  1. This activity of bullying has been around for ages. We can remember that as children others of our age who would harass and laugh at others who were shy and unsure of themselves. I think your article hit the nail on the head when you suggested that open communication and getting your kids to share information freely will go a long way in putting a stop to it. One of the reasons kids don’t speak up and tell their parents is that they fear a backlash when they go back to school. Let them know that it is intolerable and you will do what you must to end bullying. Good article

    1. Thank you I feel that open communication and sharing awareness could be a very good start I know I. Can never make it go away but if we can stop it one school at a time, that would be a great start.

  2. Thank for this very informative post Miriam

    This is a very important topic. It is sad that bullying at school has gotten so bad that children are ending their lives to get away from it. 

    You have provided a lot of information to help us learn more about bullying. The questions that you have listed are extremely helpful in getting us to start a conversation not only with our kids but with any child that we are close to.

    It is said that “hurt people,” hurt people. So, it is no surprise that some bullies are taking out their hurt and frustration on others because they are also being bullied. They are hurting, and crying out for help, but instead of telling someone about what is going on, they chose to take out their anger on those who are unable to defend themselves.

    Bullies usually choose to pick on kids who are quiet and do not have a lot of friends. If a child starts saying they do not want to go to school, parents should find out what is causing it. Especially, if they continue saying it, and start saying they are sick.

    You are correct in saying to encourage kids to get involved in doing something that they love. When my children were in school, I encouraged them to choose an activity and get involved. It does make a difference, and it help them to make friends.

    They were also told that if they had any problems with anyone at school, they should let us know. My husband and I kept in touch with their teachers, and they had our phone number. So, if anything was going on, we were informed.
    Yes, we adults should definitely slow down and listen when children are trying to talk to us; whether they are ours or not. If they are other people kids, maybe they do not have anyone at home to talk with.

    I agree that bullying at school should stop, and we should get involved and do our part to end it.

  3. Hi, I agree with you that there is no place for bullying in school. What role do you think social media plays in bullying? My daughter’s school bans mobile phones during school time, but via social media bullies can follow kids home and right into their own bedrooms.

    I also think it is really important to make time to talk to kids about all sorts of things, not just bullying, ie try to maintain a good relationship with your kids all the time so that if they do start to get bullied, or see someone else getting bullied, they will be more likely to come to you about it. 

  4. Personally, I don’t think bullying will ever completely stop. But I do think that our goal should be to at least manage it properly. There will always be people that don’t know their limits and do wrong to others (whether intentionally or not) and that is something that we need to instill in our kids. That life is tough, and that you need to be tough as well. That it’s not their fault someone is being nasty to them.

    I really like how you say it’s necessary to speak to kids and I agree 100%. Parents need to be aware of what their kids are going through and prepare their kids for whatever they will face in life. Your kid feeling safe to open up to you (or a relative…) without feeling judged or afraid and just being able to express themselves is in my opinion a huge factor in preventing depression and the like.

    1. Thank you for your comment I very well agree that It will not go away completely. Although as adults we teach our kids and they teach the next generation it be a thing of the past. There are too many people that see nothing wrong with it.which is far from the truth bullying hurts and can cause major problems to another person or child.thanks again for your comment. I’ll be posting  more stuff soon.

  5. Come on people… What we teach our children is how they are going to be…

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